Divorce is one of the most emotional experiences you will ever face. The decision to end a marriage is not an easy one, and often it is accompanied by anger, fear and resentment. The negative emotions associated with divorce are responsible for more than hurt feelings; they affect the legal process and its outcome. Most importantly, if children are involved, they can be deeply distressed. It is in your family’s interest to approach divorce from an amicable perspective; this can spare you a great deal of time, money and heartache. An experienced family law attorney can help you deal with your situation clearly and objectively.
The more hostile the divorce, the more difficult it will be to resolve the legal issues that surround it. Questions of spousal support, division of property and custody can be contentious.
When it comes to child custody, the court will want to ensure that all decisions are made in the best interests of the children. It is in your interests, therefore, to work toward agreement with your spouse on how custody will be apportioned, keeping in mind how important it is for the children to have both parents in their lives (unless abuse or neglect is involved). If you come to court with a custody agreement in hand, the court is more likely to accept your and your spouse’s wishes. In addition, after the legal maneuvering is over, you and your former spouse will need to work together to make important parenting decisions. If you can come to an agreement on custody, you are more likely to cooperate with each other later.
Accepting that the divorce is happening and making the best of the situation goes a long way toward quelling conflict. So does choosing not to go over past disagreements in your mind; refusing to let go can be a form of denial. This is a time to look forward. Though divorce can be painful, it is also the beginning of a new life. Acknowledge your pain (and your spouse’s pain) and make a plan for moving on. Instead of using the divorce process as a way to win an argument, see if you can use it as a way to resolve an argument.
If you decide to pursue a divorce, you can make it more amicable. When you fight to have your side prevail at all costs, you force the other person to fight against you. If you are committed to finding solutions that work for both of you, the resistance against you begins to dissolve. It is hard to fight someone who is on your side. An experienced family law attorney can be your best ally in achieving a beneficial resolution. Contact a family law attorney who is interested in helping you reach an amicable resolution.