Being More Than Just the “Ex”
In an article in the Huffington Post written by Laura Lifshitz, the author discusses the difficulty in explaining divorce to young children. What does the term “ex” mean to a young child? Saying that you are “just friends” with the child’s other parent is confusing, especially when your child cannot comprehend girls and boys being friends.
Lifshitz explores who you are to your ex after divorce. You are still the father of her children and hopefully you can claim to still be friends. However, do these descriptions actually cover the life you built with your ex-wife? This is the person that was formerly your best friend, lover and partner in all things.
Post-divorce, you are co-parents but are you really friends? Do you hurt each other’s feelings only to apologize and move-on? Are you working to simply be friendly to each other?
Lifshitz points out that it is common for you to want to reach out to your ex out of habit. She admits that when her instinct takes over and she does call or text her ex, she soon realizes she probably shouldn’t have. She states that she must remind herself that her ex is no longer a part of her family.
If you are like Lifshitz and it is difficult to cut out your ex from your life, it is merely evidence of how important your ex was to you. Whether this is right or wrong, it is just the way it is. Things will get even more complicated if your ex begins dating somebody new. Where does that leave you?
At the end of the day, you are the “ex.” However, this doesn’t mean that you cannot become actual friends with your ex (and even her new boyfriend). Being the ex does not mean you must be bitter and angry. You can move forward with your life, but it is okay to stop and look back upon what used to be.
Whether your divorce is amicable or full of disputes, we are here to help. Contact the knowledgeable attorneys at the Men’s Divorce Law Firm. Our office is located in Orlando, Florida, but we proudly serve husbands and fathers across the State. The firm also serves men out of state with child custody interests in Florida.